Imagine this: a man – a known bully – comes to your house and claims that under a certain obscure cultural custom (concocted much later after the Marriage Act that makes you and your lady husband and wife); “entitles” him to be spending some nights with your legally wedded wife.
Would you negotiate with such a bully? The answer, of course, is a resounding “NO”.
Why? Because in Chichwewa we have an adage that says “timba, sachepa ndimazira ake” – in other words, it is a grave mistake to underestimate the resourcefulness of your opponent, regardless of their size!
Now for argument sake, let us say that you erroneously, or under duress, you decide on mediation (over what is already yours – which is of course absurd).
And while this absurd mediation is in progress, the bully is going around town boasting that he has placed a huge order of gondolosi (a very potent Viagra) which he will be using on his “allocated nights” with your wife or on his “earmarked” side of your soon to be “shared” wife.
Would you continue the mediation? Or do you write a letter of protest “urging” the bully not to buy gondolosi (the loads and loads of Viagra that he is boasting about)?
The answer is so obvious. Why would anyone, in his right mind, continue negotiating with a bully that has placed a huge order of “gondolosi” to be used on their wife – before the so called mediation is over?
Would one be wrong to conclude that the bully, in this case, knows something that the rightful husband is not aware of?